The cowgirl was my most hated position – until I made one change

Sitting naked on top of my lover, I watch his eyes go wide as I bend my knees.

As my body sinks lower, he lets out a passionate moan.

Despite having only just started having sex a few minutes ago, I can sense that he is close to climax.

The ecstasy is all over his face – it’s a delicious agony that I recognise because he often gives me the same kind of pleasure.

If you haven’t guessed it yet: I am riding him. 

Funnily enough, I am not actually a fan of being on top. But, earlier this week, I decided to try this sex position once again after chatting to a friend at the pub.

My pal confessed that, since she is less sexually experienced than her partner, she sometimes struggles to surprise him in the sack.

‘He’s done it all,’ she told me, ‘… except this one thing.’

My ears perked up at the end of her sentence. 

In a hushed tone, my friend described how she surprised her boyfriend by starting out in the classic cowgirl position.

Seconds later, she made his head spin as she perched a foot on either side of his body and squatted on top of him.

It had the desired effect: He was left speechless.

After that chat, I decided to introduce the squatting cowgirl when I was having sex with my partner the other day – to great effect.

People don’t talk about the squatting cowgirl nearly enough – probably because we like to visualise what we’re told and it can be awkward imagining someone hunkered over their partner as if they’re going to the toilet in the woods.

But it’s time we gave this sex position the credit it deserves. 

The classic cowgirl has never been my favourite. 

Firstly, the word cowgirl puts me off – I am a woman, not a girl, and I am not handling an animal.

I also sometimes feel self-conscious about my belly and any rolls that might be on display.

Depending on the type of mattress the sex takes place on, it can also be difficult to find the right rhythm.

But the most important reason is that I just don’t like riding. Physically, the sensation doesn’t do much for me.

For years, I have read articles and books, and watched films hailing cowgirl as the position that all women should love – suggesting that, not only are we in charge but we can also apparently manoeuvre ourselves so that the penis hits our G-spot – a guaranteed orgasm winner.

I have no doubt that, for some women, this is the best sex position ever – but for me, it does very little. I’d rather take missionary or doggy style, thanks.

After all, the path to pleasure does not look the same for everyone.

But, this all being said, I don’t like giving up without trying my best.

So, over the years, I experimented with the cowgirl position to see if I could find a variation that worked better for me.

I tried backwards first – when you are riding your lover but facing away from him, either sitting up straight or holding onto his ankles.

The position has its benefits, such as allowing for anal play and giving your sexual partner an excellent view of your bum.

Personally, though, I find the butt-to-face novelty doesn’t last very long. The whole thing is more work than it’s worth.

Depending on the size of your lover’s penis, it can also be a bit tricky to ensure he doesn’t slip out (or worse, bend his dick too far).

Then, I tried the ‘side ride’ – which I’d read about in a magazine once and which can be done in several ways.

My partner lay down on the bed and I sat on top of him, as if he was a chair, with my feet holding me steady on the floor.

With my hands on the wall for balance, I started riding him.

It was exhausting and complicated. Neither of us had much fun so we called it quits on this sex position after a few minutes.

However, now I’ve found the squatting cowgirl.

I felt a bit awkward at first – the whole squatting thing is a bit clunky when you’re trying to get into position – and my stomach bunched up, which as I’ve already admitted is a concern of mine during sex.

But any embarrassment I felt disappeared when I saw my lover’s face. He was overjoyed.

Now, the squatting cowgirl is been my secret weapon.

It’s not a regular part of my sexual repertoire. Rather, I bring it out when I want to add some zing to my everyday sex life.

And it does the trick – every time.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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