A plain Jane – or her male counterpart, plain Joe – is considered to be drab, unattractive and generally uninteresting.
But while most people would take offence at such a label, it seems they have no problem considering themselves as middle-of-the-road in the looks department, as 71% of UK daters rate their appearance as ‘average’.
Singles are no longer searching for perfection in their search for love either, with ‘normal’ being a key factor for dating success in 2024.
A healthy 67% of us Brits believe that being ‘average’ is a good thing and it should be celebrated, while 81% of daters say their ideal partner is someone who they’d give a six out of 10 looks-wise.
More than half of singles (53%) have felt pressure to present as a ’10 out of 10′ to potential dates too, despite the sad reality that 60% of us are at our most confident when we show up to a date as our true selves.
So why are we finally starting to reject the idea that we need to be the hottest we can be? According to psychologist and relationship expert, Dr Melissa Cook, it’s because ‘personality and reliability are becoming more valued in modern relationships’.
‘These are being prioritised over superficial perfection, which is why we might be seeing an increase in daters’ rejection of the stereotypical 10 out of 10,’ Melissa tells Metro.co.uk.
Swiping through countless dating profiles featuring heavily posed photos and displays of chiselled physiques can be pretty intimidating, and Melissa thinks this leaves people craving a match who comes across as more ‘average, approachable and genuine’.
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The Plenty of Fish study backs this hypothesis up too, with 37% of daters believing being ‘average’ is the key to getting those matches.
Half of respondents to the survey admitted to preferring a dating profile which showed hobbies and interests alongside good values and humour, over things like airbrushed selfies (16%) and abs you could grate cheese on (9%).
Unfortunately, though, there’s still a disconnect between what we think others want, and what we actually want in a potential partner.
‘Many still believe that creating highly polished profiles showing off their best looks, wealth, or fitness will attract potential partners,’ Melissa says.
‘But real-world experiences tell us that most people are just looking for a genuine connection and prioritise qualities like kindness and relatability over superficial traits.’
It’s this misunderstanding that means daters are presenting an idealised version of themselves that ultimately doesn’t resonate with what most people truly want.
Instead, the majority prefer to see pictures showing a warm smile (89%), exploring nature (77%) or with friends and family. Half of Brits also favour a picture that showed a persons true passion, whether it be fitness, music, art or food.
If we’ve nearly sold you on being your inner, less try-hard plain Jane or Joe, these benefits to accepting normality might just sway you completely.
‘You come across as relaxed and approachable, making it easier for others to relate and connect,’ Melissa says.
‘In a world where people are increasingly looking for authenticity, embracing your true self can be far more attractive than trying too hard to impress and being overly focused on appearing perfect.’
Looks still do matter – after all, every relationship needs a sexual spark – but less than we might think, and far less than presenting yourself honestly, which more than half (54%) of singles polled believe is the key to a long-lasting relationship.
Melissa agrees, saying: ‘Trying too hard can ruin an initial impression. When individuals focus on trying to create a perfect persona, it can easily come across as desperate which is often off-putting.
‘The intent to impress may also lead to a lack of reliability and trust which is a common mistake I see, or overshadow genuine qualities, making it hard to form real connections.’
Not getting any matches on your dating apps?
According to science, there’s one thing your dating profile is likely missing if you’re not getting the matches you want.
A lot of daters routinely leave out what we would like to know about our potential partner. It’s this detail that is the most important thing to include, says professor Juliana Schroeder.
We all spend so much time trying to sell ourselves – writing how much we love to run marathons, backpack around the world or do Reformer Pilates – that we don’t express any interest in wanting to know things about others.
In her recent paper ‘Feeling Known Predicts Relationship Satisfaction’, Juliana says: ‘People want to be known, so they’re looking for partners who will know them and support them, but because other people also want to be known, they end up writing these not-super-appealing profiles when trying to attract partners.’
It makes a lot of sense, after all its common to get that feel-good feeling when someone remembers a little detail about you. You feel like they made the effort to know you.
So, if you say something like ‘what I’d love to know about you is…’ on your dating profile, there’s a good chance you’re going to be more successful in your endeavour to find love.
Read more tips backed by science here.
Although 70% of UK daters admitted to swiping left or right based on a profile picture alone, what we’re saying still rings true thanks to the whopping 79% of people find heavily filtered shots ‘icky’ – 67% have even avoided matching with someone over airbrushing.
Poses with money were a major ick too, while more than half of us were turned off by the typical sweaty gym selfie.
Dating expert Alix Fox, for Plenty of Fish, added: ‘Most singles aren’t seeking someone practically godlike to be their “chosen human”. They want an “average Joe” (or Jane) who’s real and relatable, who values laughing and loving over fronting and flexing.
‘By simply being your regular, standard self, you open yourself up to far more fulfilling relationships – and may well find that you’re enough to be someone’s everything.’
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